And Then There Was Henri, ( Why Is It Always About The Guy)?!

My husband says that one of my notable character traits ( well, technically it could be identified as a flaw),  is that I'm great at spending money. I can't deny or confirm that statement but there are times, such as within the last week, when I pretended that money actually grows on trees and mother nature is footing the bill.

I have been driving my nearest and dearest bonkers lately trying to find the perfect dress & accessories for my brothers wedding next weekend. I mean, I am the sister of the groom, right? OK I know, no one cares what I wear down the aisle but I can't scare everyone & walk down the aisle naked, can I! So listen up...

ONE week before the "I Dos" the hunt for the dress is over.  I just can't eat for the next week.  Even spanx won't do the trick to smooth things out, friends. It's plain and simple ,  I'm in starvation mode.  Good news is I kept it cost effective so brownie points for me and my money tree.  Sneak peak below, thank you Shopbop, (dress is actually navy)...

Model has like 5 feet on me and weighs about a whole
person less than me so I may not look
as stellar in this, I'm aware of that

But what about the jewelry and the shoes? That has been an even harder credit card charge to charge, surprisingly!

But then there was Henri,
( damn, why is it always about the guy)?!

After getting my eyebrows plucked and perfected yesterday at Fredrick Fekkai on 4 I scooted down to costume jewels on 2 at Henri Bendels. If you haven't been recently you are sorely missing out!!!



Henri Bendels' crown jewels ( haha, funny, funny )  include fun, flirty and fabulous fashion pieces all wrapped up in their brown and white signature wrap.  Here's what I snagged:

Bolts of cobalt and other shades of blues are all over the stores for Spring 2012. A punch of this color family is a complete no brainer to pop the navy. Loving a festive attire dress code allowing for a little more sugar and spice and everything nice...

Obsessed with these necklaces by Anton Heunis . All Anton Heunis jewelry is handmade in Madrid, Spain where Anton Heunis himself oversees the entire production process. Feels one of a kind , vintage with a current twist. And get this? Some of the necklaces are reversible. 2 for 1 ? Done. And all under $200. I will totally be wearing my purchase at some point during the wedding weekend- can you say after party?????

Next order of business? The shoes. Go big or go home, right?  Mild love affair with the B by Brain Atwood pumps below and as I am anything but traditional, I'm feeling the hotness here.

B by Brian Atwood- Shopbop.com

However, shhhh I have a little rendezvous with an old friend tomorrow you may know him..Barneys? Lives on Madison? So we will see what he brings to the table tomorrow before shoe votes are casted.

Keep shaking that tree, shake, shake, shake...

The Over The Shoulder Boulder Holder

Sometimes I wish mothers and daughters alike would take caution when only wearing their sports bras when working out. I know workout time is a place to not be judged , a time to leave everything at the door but does that include your top?  At some point an individual must learn that their abs are not what they used to be and should be kept to yourself and your significant others.  Hey the abs probably never were and need some TLC and some covering up ASAP!!!

Oh no you didnt'!

I live in NYC, one of the premier "everyone loves a first impression/ quick to judge" capital of the world . I do embrace strong and powerful women and women who do what they want (lord knows I try every day to live by that motto) but I also believe in respectful limitations to yourself and others so a gut hanging over pants and boobs purposely spilling in spin class or a bootcamp class leaves very little to the imagination and well, frankly ruins it!

Friend doing a "Fat Check " on Another Friend. Typical!

Show of your shape show off your curves, you deserve it ! But keep on the Lulu or the Splits 59 tank top ( Splits 59 is becoming a fav if you haven't checked it out) .  You can still look unbelievable, show skin and bring your sexy back! Ladies I embrace you but lets break it down: Unless you clearly have a toned stomach, washboard abs, and / or boobs that haven't reached the ground due to breastfeeding,  I would suggest keeping that over the shoulder boulder holder behind closed doors. I'm just saying... These rules should apply to bikini wearing as well, but that's another ball of wax and a bikini wax...

PS- on a lighter note, some great fashion jewelry reviews from me up next
Xo
PPS- Check out Splits59.com for some great Lulu Lemon alternatives!!

Um, It's Your Pits

This is the land of the free and the home of the brave, yes,  totes, I'm with you, but why is it that a beautiful, sunny morning with fresh crisp air is ruined by a person who walks by you, reeking of body odor. I'm not talking about " I just worked out and I smell like sweat" smell,  I get that and witness that smell at Flywheel each week, ( 4 times on a good week).  I'm talking about a well groomed, well dressed man who chooses willingly not to wear deodorant. Does it take that much effort to swipe a stick, spritz a spray or roll on a roller to alleviate any emotional damage on your peers and neighbors?  

Body odor is a pet peeve of mine, always has been. When I travelled around Europe my junior year abroad it took everything I had to roam the streets of Italy on a hot Spring day and not make scowling faces. Too many men in white socks with black shoes (fashion no no!!!)  and UNBEARABLE body odor.   Luckily the homemade pasta got me through it with a 10 plus weight gain in addition to many trips to the Prada outlets in Montervarchi :)

Now this is the land of the free and home of the brave, it takes bravery
fighting off the vultures looking for a pretty Prada deal 

Gaining weight just looking at this picture...

Deodorant is part of our culture, it's a right of passage into adolescence, it's a necessity you don't dare travel without!  I believe in freedom of speech but freedom to reek of body odor is not an amendment that needs passing.  So, non deodorant wearing man from this morning , this is how we do things in the good old US of A .  Please, walk to your local Duane Reade or Bodega and pick up your favorite scent it will cost you less than the designer Michael Kors  underwear you had on today, ( that's just a guess based on the fancy way he was dressed, OK?)

Deodorant is a quick fix, will score you more friends, more match.com dates, more job interviews, whatever you are in the market for and whatever floats your boat. I guarantee it. Or money back. We have enough funky smells in NYC do we really need to start a body odor epidemic especially with summer upon us? Can't we all just get along?!

You Get What You Get And You DON'T Get Upset"- Pinkalicious

"You get what you get and you DON'T get upset", say Pinkalicious".  If only that phrase were actually true, Ms. Pinkalicious.  Thanks Pinky, but that's kind of a crock of crap. Was that what I should have told my daughter today when she tried to swipe the cupcakes ,the FAKE ones mind you, from the stage during your pinkatastical Pinkalicious play ? And who then flailed into a full Pinkalicious tantrum with 200 of our closest friends in the theater? We adhered to the "quiet please" signs and quickly removed her from the theater carefully and calmly ,(well calmly, that's debatable), to not ruin the experience for the other toddlers in tiaras sitting front row.

( Note to self:  Do not spend money on expensive tickets during tantrum years, no chance in hell she will make it through any sort of performance that doesn't involve real cupcakes)!

Karl Lagerfeld would be proud
of this knock off

I was excited to take her to her first big play and thought a quick hour performance was do able, mother daughter time!  I dressed her in her fake Chanel tweed, ( it's killer, thank you GAP) and a big rosette hair bow ( with rhinestones, must have rhinestones) and she held her very own Pinkalcious doll as we hailed a taxi uptown on 3rd avenue.

 Confession, I wore pink too , OK,  I did!!! But I didn't feel so bad when I spotted a dad in head to toe bubblegum pink sitting front row, ( true story) as we took our seats. Twenty minutes later, arms and legs were failing, punches were being thrown at yours truly, ( she has a serious arm) and screams echoed throughout the theater. Suddenly, we were hailing a taxi back downtown as our 1 hour bonding time turned into 20 minutes of mayhem.


Well you do get what you get and hey I GOT upset ( and clearly so did she),  but she's 2, and I'm 30ish , remember ? And things don't always go according to plan in life. No reason to cry over crushed cupcakes, we should move on and look to the next task and of course, work on and tweak some behavior practices on our end. I was looking forward to sharing Pinkalicious today with my baby but there is always Purplicious next year, or Goldilicious this summer or even some one on one time with her Mommylicious tomorrow over a tea party and REAL pink cupcakes.  (I hate a good tantrum but I love her more, especially when her face is covered in pink frosting).  Thanks, Pinky day is looking up.

Do You Have The Beat? The Fresh Beat?

It'sThe  Modern Day Beatle Mania...For Kids

What is it about the Fresh Beat Band that has every 2+ year old and their 30+ year old parents jumping, jamming and jiving, desperately, for concert tickets . Tickets in the tri -state area were in such high demand recently they were selling on stub hub for over $1000 a ticket , FOR A CHILDREN'S CONCERT,  cross my heart and swear on all my Chanel jumbos ( so you know that it's true)!  Parents were begging on facebook for tickets, willing to sell their first borns, for some sort of a hook up and to get one step closer for both their children and themselves to witness the phenomena !!!

What in gods name is the fascination with this toddler/ tots bopper group ? I 'm not ashamed to admit the tunes are catchy , they are on my iPod primarily for my child's listening pleasure.  Well, maybe their "hit song"  "A Friend Like You " is on a play list or two of mine,  MAYBE:) And possibly "Just Like A Rockstar" was on repeat tonight while I was heating up some chicken nuggets and fries. Plain and simple, The Fresh Beat is easy breezy, cheap and cheerful and a whole lot easier to listen to then that Raffi crap that's been around for years.  Laurie Berkner? You are toast next to these Fresh Beat kids. The Fresh Beats offer feel good ,wanna be boy band music that is taking the little people in our lives childhoods' by storm. I'll be DAMNED if we don't get tickets for their next tour this fall,  come hell or high water, Mommy's on a mission. Well played, Nickelodeon. CASH COW. Mooooooooo...

Gold, Golden and Goldest

The other day I cracked open my cookie and this slipped out, ( excuse the black bean sauce):

And it reads... "Big Things Coming In The Future. Only Matter of Time". The fortune must have had to be written in 75 characters or less as the "are" before coming and "a" before matter were appropriately left out.  ( Did that just go over your head)?

After getting the raw end of the stick last week with no fortune, I got the golden one. And I picked up something else just as golden today...In the words of Carrie Bradshaw " Hellooo lover"....

 There's nothing like a pair of Nicholas Kirkwood, platinum gold, lace print, front platform heels to brighten ones day. Fabulosity at its best.  Now, as usual how do I hide them from my better half?

I can't wait to see what the other big things are coming down the pipeline, the goldest things. Hey I'm not being greedy with my sauce covered slip of paper, the fortune said "things"!  So sit tight, dip your dumplings and stay tuned...

Taking It All In

Last night wearing my Herve Leger "go to" dress, ( looking like an encased sausage and all) and my YSL nude patent, suede tribute pumps, (5 inches tall, thank you),  that left me with little to no feeling in my feet , I set out for a friend's wedding.  Someone once told me to take it all in, look around the room and take a snapshot in your head of the wedding night. So, I did just that last night, but thankfully I was just a guest this time around and the pressures of a first dance with 250 of my closest friends wasn't my problem! 

After being to so many of these things, you start to know what to expect once the glass has been broken ( Mazel Tov)! and the festivities begin at the cocktail hour. The men run like beasts to find the closest sushi station, the trays of mini hot dogs, and the servings of mini lamb chops floating around the room. The girls take off their shawls to expose what trash they might be wearing underneath their pashminas. I've seen some bad stuff over the years; Extra large sequins falling off dresses, nude pantyhose with open toe sandals ( it's like a dagger to the heart), and hot pink or red lipstick that should only be worn when your teeth are very white and you are capable of applying the lipstick without it smeared across your teeth- PET PEEVE!  The bride and groom make their rounds prowling for envelopes of cash and checks made out to the new " Mr and Mrs" while the brides shady Uncle Jack plays air guitar and 20, some odd 30 somethings are taking lemon drop shots by the bar . The horah starts and one family member INEVITABLY falls off their chair during the dance as a videographer pushes all patrons aside to make sure he doesn't miss the moment. The band sings karoke with their versions of "Billie Jean" and "Sweet Caroline" , the best man makes a drunken hilarious toast or a TERRIBLY boring one, the cake is cut , hugs and kisses to the guests and the night is done. 

I feel like after 50-75 of these I could attend, enjoy and get home all with my eyes shut. Yet, it always entails a great time. Weddings are an excuse to be kid free, party and celebrate with friends who you never get to see on Michigan football Saturdays anymore, squeeze into that Herve dress you have been eating carrot sticks for all week, and to take the time to "take it in" and create your own snapshots .  And while I gorged myself with alcohol and food for five hours straight, I wouldn't give any of the extra calories back because these are the moments that count, that we remember and that we toast , L'Chaim.